Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Where did the name come from?
I put my name in a Wu-Tang name generator. That’s half of the reason I’m here – I’m dead serious. Like I met RZA and he was like, “you’re a cool dude, man – and your name is perfect for you! It’s like that computer had a brain!” But yeah, I put my name in a Wu-Tang name generator and it spit out Childish Gambino, and for some reason I just thought that fit.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
You know who the guys are that suck in their farts in public restrooms? Same kind of prima donna ladyboys who get out of the shower to take a piss. They're not reading this because they're afraid to have a site called Poop Reads on their browser history. And just like that little pussy earthquake today, they can get the balls too.
Secondly, I got a bunch of emails from Poop Readers saying they were dumping out at the exact moment the earthquake struck. Lots of jokes about their poops being the root cause. Shit kills me. Something about a dude being stuck on the toilet during a disaster-type situation just tickles me pink. A. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. To Hades if you're leaving that toilet come hell or high water with doo doo squishing around in your butt cheeks. Just gotta sit there, hold on tight, and hope for the best. That's it. and B. That's the part they never show in action movies. How come Bruce Willis was never sitting on the can when it was time to move? Sly Stallone getting rid of ma's lasagna when the shit hits the fan? That never happens. It should. I would like a movie called "Earthquake" starting with Vin Diesel reading some awful car magazine on the shitter at some boring white collar job he hates. Then he saves the day while also trying to convince people he likes girls. Tell me that's not cinema verite like a motherfucker.
The fact that all these dudes crawled out of the bathroom after an earthquake hit New York City while they were shitting and thought of the same joke to email me about kills me too. Dudes are so gross. So predictable. So great.
Anyway, Chris Jones on Arturo Gatti's death here. Cool fighter, cool story, cool writer. Oh and Chris Jones has boxed some so you know he speaks from the heart. Enjoy.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
"Q: You have officially made me want to become a sports writer. The fact that someone might actually pay me to write random bullshit that crosses my mind like you do is both amazing and awesome at the same time. Thank you for the inspiration.— Lewis, San Ramon, CA"
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
"Q: I haven't even begun to read the mailbag yet I just wanted to tell you how happy it made me to see the mailbag has "gloriously" returned. I will spend however long it takes me to read the mailbag ignoring my mom, her alcoholic brother, my stoner brother, the whitest black dude you will ever meet, my girlfriend who already feels like technology is ripping us apart ( its like the plot of one of those twilight movies which incidentally I am forced to watch every time they come on one of my 100 movie channels I get with my direct tv package) and my other idiot buddy whose life is in such shambles it makes Charlie sheen look like muhat ma Gandhi. Thank you for bringing it back and if it wasnt for you i wouldnt be on espn half as much as I am … DP show and bs reports get me through my day.
From,A hammered fan a day before his 25th birthday— Anthony, Bensenville, IL
SG: Uh-oh …
Q: You should try yelling Texas Forever! while you are getting in on with your wife. I did, and she liked it.— Cody, Oregon
SG: I can't fight it …"
p.s. Chop, chop.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
I nodded, patted him on the shoulder, and when I did, he let out a single sharp sob, almost like a hiccup. I looked past him at the 150 or so other firemen resting in a tunnel nearby."