So CNBC actually published this list of things to do to keep a 'Wall Street Man' as your boyfriend. And KFC from Barstool went ahead and translated it into real talk. Pretty funny.
Really all it boils down to is this: If you're going to date a man just for his money you need to keep your body tight, keep the sex hot, and know when to shut the fuck up and mind your own business. You're a prostitute now honey, act accordingly.
http://nyc.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/10-tips-to-dating-a-wall-street-man-from-a-professional-upscale-matchmaker/
Showing posts with label kfc. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kfc. Show all posts
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
'Australian Politician Jacks a Movie Quote from a Michael Douglas Movie" by KFC - Barstoolsports.com
Title pretty much says it all here folks. But what are you gonna except shrug? Australia, America's fun, drunk cousin. KFC put together a list of his five favorite movie speeches of all time though, and while it's not technically an article I don't think, my god is it watchable.
http://nyc.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/austrailian-politician-jacks-a-speech-word-for-word-from-a-michael-douglass-movie/
http://nyc.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/austrailian-politician-jacks-a-speech-word-for-word-from-a-michael-douglass-movie/
Thursday, December 1, 2011
"Adam Corolla with the Most Amazing OccupyWallStreet Rant You'll Ever Hear" by KFC - Barstoolsports.com
Adam Corolla, nailed, fucking nailed these OWS cats. KFC at Barstool found it and put it up with his own commentary, which is legit funny and awesome and right on point. And it's long enough to warrant a Poopread. God bless.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
"I Can't Think of Anything More Stupid than Apple Picking" by KFC - BarstoolNYC.com
KFC from Barstool getting in on it. Funniest guy on the internet for my money. This one's a quick hitter but it's a pretty dead-on character read of the kind of people who go apple picking and post the pictures on Facebook. You know those people. You hate them too.
Only thing I would have changed about this is that it should have been pumpkin picking, since it's the week before Halloween. Same shit, different plant. Right this very instant someone you don't really like is posting pictures of their impossibly skinny, joyous selves frolicking in some dumb pumpkin patch somewhere upstate in a naked attempt to make you think they are better than you. Don't worry Poop Readers; they're not. They're just branding themselves on Facebook because they thrive on the perceived envy and approval of strangers. And that makes them insecure losers.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
"Movies That Make Men Cry" by KFC - Grantland.com
That's not the real title of the article but the real title was nondescriptive and wack. Anyhoo, KFC from Barstool weighs in again with the 5 guy movies that make him cry. Not a ton of writing here but if you've got an iPad on the pot or time to kill at work these clips he picked are great. The Rudy clip had me cheering arms in the air with a single tear rolling down my right cheek like I'd never seen the movie before. Gets me everytime.
Saving Private Ryan is an obvious one. My boy Bones refuses to watch that movie with me exactly for the reasons the author lays out. I didn't make it through Click and I've never seen Homeward Bound, but I don't blame KFC for not watching Marley and Me. I won't even sniff that movie. I'd be a puddle. I know my limits.
Oh and I don't hold it against Feitelberg that he cried at Armageddon either. Shit was sad.
Monday, July 25, 2011
"Askmen Lists the Top 10 Ways to Tell a Girl She's Fat" by KFC - Barstoolsports.com
I'm really glad this cat KFC over at Barstoolsports.com finally wrote something long enough to be featured on Poop Reads. Day in, day out this dude is one of the funniest motherfuckers on the internet hands down. Is he crass? Yes. Sexist? Very. Does he hate blind people? Three for three. But the kid is a goddam wordsmith when it comes to crafting a funny blog. I'm pretty sure he's going to blow up at some point, though I don't know exactly how a blogger would do that. Either way, read this article--which is his breakdown of a really stupid list of ways to tell chicks their fat published by Askmen.com--and you can thank me a few years from now when you can say "I've been reading KFC since '88".
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