"Your Average Business Trip Gone Horribly Wrong" by GSElevator - Totalfratmove.com

When push comes to shove* there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that beats a good poop story. This one from GSElevator had me near tears the other night when I read it.

http://totalfratmove.com/782530

*pun intended

thanks to bones

"How A Senior League Hockey Fight Ended With One Player Pooping In An Opponent’s Glove" by Barry Petchesky - Deadspin.com

You gotta read this.

http://deadspin.com/5868584/how-a-senior-league-hockey-fight-ended-with-one-player-pooping-in-an-opponents-glove

"It's the Economy Dummkopf!" by Michael Lewis - Vanityfair.com

I keep getting this article emailed to me like "Oh bro it's perfect for Poop Reads, it's a great article and it's about Germans and poop!".

Bros, Poop Reads it's not about poop. It's about Reads. Shit to take your mind off pooping while you poop. Different shit, totally different pile. I came up with this bomb idea and you shitheads took a hot dump all over it making it all about poop. Just firing away hot ones at Poop Reads like it's some crappy, doo-doo related Web site.

Germans talk about poop a lot. Michael Lewis explains why.

http://www.vanityfair.com/business/features/2011/09/europe-201109

p.s. Oh my god Tim Tebow just got DRILLED.

thanks to strap

"Chicken Toenails Anyone" by David Sedaris - TheGuardian.com

David Sedaris wrote one of the funniest things I ever read. It was the last page in an issue of Esquire, must have been in about 2006, and it was about--fittingly--a poop. He walked into a bathroom at a house party and there was a turd the size of Puerto Rico stuck in the toilet that someone had failed to flush and now the responsibility (and the shame if he failed, upon exit) fell to him. Anyway I was on some godawful NJTransit bus coming out of the city and pinned up against the window by some fat Irish chick who must have been pushing 3 bills, and I laughed so hard I went silent. One of those where your mouth's open and the tears are coming and there's nothing you can do about it. And I literally couldn't do anything about it because I was pinned in my seat like a mouse in a trap. I'm sure Bertha would have appreciated the article too cuz Lord knows she's dropped some bombs in her day, but I don't approve of the fat so I didn't share. Fuck 'er.

This is all to say that David Sedaris is funny and while I didn't read this article because I happen to like Chinese food and would like to enjoy it again at some point in the near future, he went to China and had a somewhat different take on the cuisine than me.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jul/15/david-sedaris-chinese-food-chicken-toenails