"What Makes Mad Men Great" by Matt Zoller Seitz - NYMag.com

I don't know if you've heard, Mad Men is back in like two weeks. This dude Matt Zoller Seitz, who I've never heard of and who has a pretty low profile in general I guess, absolutely crushes this article about what makes Mad Men so good. It's not often that I read something and think "god DAMN that was well written." But this, kids, this had that effect. The finishing sentence in and of itself is worth reading the article for. Hats off to Zoller Seitz, whomever he may be.


http://www.vulture.com/2012/03/what-makes-mad-men-great.html

"Rembert Explains the '80s: Out of This World" by Rembert Browne - Grantland.com

These things crack me up. Here Rembert Browne breaks down an episode of Out of this World, you remember, with the chick whose dad was an alien who she spoke to through a glass prism. I don't have much else to say about this, shit is ridic.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/44788/rembert-explains-the-80s-out-of-this-world

'The Sopranos Five-Year Cut to Black" by Steven Hyden - Grantland.com

If you're a Sops fan this is a must read. Great article about the final episode of Sopranos, which is about to be five years old. Two things to say about this. One, I think it's pretty obvious that Tony died. The conversation he had with Baccala on the boat earlier in the season about how when you get shot you probably don't even know it was an obvious foreshadowing. But also I was watching The Godfather this weekend and noticed that whats-his-face in the Italian bar that Michael shoots with the cop, he says just before he dies "try the veal, it's the best in the city" which is almost word for word what Tony says about the onion rings "try the onion rings, they're the best in the state" just before it all goes black. Too much of a coincidence for me.

I used to think that the ending was more nuanced than that, and was supposed to be a meta play on the viewership, sort of chastising them for caring about a fictional bad guy. But now I think it's more cut and dry than that. RIP, Tony.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7634326/revisiting-finale-sopranos-s-place-history-television

"The Gifted Young Athlete" by Kenny Powers - Grantland.com

Hahaha. I can do no better service to this letter from Kenny Powers to Tim Tebow than to print this excerpt from it.

"Jesus helps us win at sports games, yet he's nowhere to be found when poor people need important medicine for their kid's infection, or when they're late on a mortgage payment. Think about it. There are folks in Africa who get AIDS without even being gay. Yet here Jesus is, helping me & Tebow out in sports, just because we're maybe a little bit cooler in his eyes. It's a raw deal, plain and simple. Even though he's hooking me up, I still see it's kind of a cocksucker move on Jesus's part."

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7552472/kenny-powers-eastbound-sends-open-letter-tim-tebow

"A Look Inside NBC's Playbook for the Super Bowl Broadcast" by Jeremy Repanich - Deadspin.com

Ever wonder how they get all those ridiculous angles on every single play in the NFL on camera. Wonder no more.

Feel free to keep wondering how the refs always seem to fuck it all up with so many camera angles to watch though.

http://deadspin.com/5881438/a-look-inside-nbcs-playbook-for-the-super-bowl-broadcast

"Six Ways to Fix Jersey Shore" by David Jacoby - Grantland.com

Not gonna lie, I used to really enjoy Jersey Shore. The hair gel, the fist pumping, the bolt-on titties ... it really took me back to my youth in New Jersey, where I laid claim to the palest-kid-in-town title. But now it's just flat-out grating. I usually use the time my girlfriend takes to watch it by concentrating really, really hard and writing this blog. For impactful trashiness, Garden State-bile, and sheer stupidity, I go Jersey Housewives all the way. Plus Melissa Gorga is hotter than all the Jersey Shore girls combined, mmm, maybe except for J-Wow, jury's still out there.

Anyway, this dude David Jacoby for Grantland wrote six ways to make the show better. Which is five things too many. Because really all they have to do is revamp the damn cast. Let Paulie D have his spin off because that guy rules. Everybody else can hit the bricks, except maybe J-Wow, because again the jury's out on her. Get new meatheads in the house, trust me, there is no shortage. And get new chicks. Hot chicks. For the love of God! Hot chicks! I still don't know how they screwed that up. They had the entire guidette population of the world at their hands--a group of women whose only goal in life is to be hot--and they somehow ended up with two warthogs, the shrillest girl in the world, and a walking, talking sex doll. Poor casting. Jersey Shore needs a do over.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/35866/six-ways-to-fix-jersey-shore

"I Don't Want to Bro Up, I'm an Entourage Kid" by Carles - Grantland.com

First off, is this the best title ever posted on Poop Reads? I think it might be. Carles from Hipster Runoff writes a pretty funny, pretty insightful article on Entourage and the state of the American Bro. Do bros need to grow up at some point? Can you be a bro and also be a man in full? Does it matter?

Honestly some of the biggest bros I know are some of the most successful people I know too. Like sometimes I think the harder you bro out in life the better you do. Because being a bro is about being loyal, being funny, and rolling with the punches. Those are first-line bro traits. If you don't have those three you can throw all the ancillary bro traits right out the window, because you ain't no bro, brah. And it just so happens that being loyal, funny, and easy going can get you pretty damn far in this world.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6823947/i-want-bro-entourage-kid

p.s. This little bro who just sang the anthem at the Eagles-Steelers game has got to be kidding me. I can sing better than that.

"Hugging It Out" by Chuck Klosterman and Molly Lambert - Grantland.com

Listen I don't watch Entourage because the good Lord saw fit to grant me some semblance of taste, but if you do watch it, well first of all you're probably not reading this blog because Poop Readers are nothing if not tasteful. And before I talk myself in a circle here, lemme just leave it like this: If you're gonna read about this abortion of a television program, you might as well let Chuck Klosterman do the writing.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6790803/hugging-out

p.s. One time I was at a party with Adrian Grenier, and I guarantee you if you are a male human being with two balls and a cock, you could 100% beat his ass. Guy's built like a dirty lollipop and he took down a chick that night whose waffles I wouldn't have wasted time farting on in the morning. You can take that to the bank and cash it.

p.p.s. That's not a humblebrag either.

p.p.p.s. Her actual waffles.

"Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose" by Robert Mays - Grantland.com

Goddamit. Just goddamit is all. I was going to save this article to post for Monday because doing this blog on a Sunday sucks because no one but the times posts new shit over the weekend, and then I realized that it will be irrelevant after Friday. Because Friday Night Lights is fucking ending and that makes me want to punch myself in the dick until I pass out and wake up to a new reality where those dickfarts at NBC greenlighted seasons 6 and 7 like they should have.

That being said, in real life, Eric and Tami Taylor totally boned. 100%.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6766070/clear-eyes-full-hearts-lose

p.s. Oh, the article's an in-depth oral history of the show.

p.p.s. Buncha dickfarts.

"Is the Mob as Laughable as Reality TV Makes It Seem?" - NYMag.com

Short answer no. Long answer yes.

An awesome interview with the FBI agent who orchestrated that big NYC mob bust last winter. I'm sure you read about it on the cover of the Post. Dude is very candid when speaking about the (mostly) guidettes now inhabitating all walks of reality television. One thing I didn't know is that that real skinny, druggy, sketchy looking dude who was that bug-eyed slut from NJ Housewives' "bodyguard" is actually connected pretty big time and would probably stab me if he knew I called that twat a bug-eyed slut. Food for thought.

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/07/is_the_mob_as_laughable_as_rea.html

"The 10 Greatest Music Moments on Friday Night Lights" by Jayson Greene - GQ.com

I love this article, mostly because I hold Friday Night Lights as the second greatest show of all time behind The Wire (edged out The Sopranos this season in fact) and also because I'm a fan of indie music and the show has been stacking my iPod for years now. If you like music, football, TV, or things of high quality, you'll like this (and yes the songs are included, you can listen to them while you read.)

http://www.gq.com/sports/lists/201107/friday-night-lights-soundtrack-music-episodes

"Friday Night Lights in Long Beach" by Troy Patterson - Slate.com

New docu-drama on Slate.com is like Friday Night Lights but real and in the hood. I can't wait to watch it. Slate.com loves it.

http://www.slate.com/id/2295611/

p.s. Gimme a break. It's 10pm on Memorial Day and I havent been sober since Friday.

"Friday Night Lights recap" - Slate.com

Friday Night Lights is the best show on television right now, bar none. In fact, this season is so good, that it's edged out the Sopranos as my second favorite TV show of all time. Behind, obviously, The Wire, which will never be unseated. The king stays the king, nahmean?

Slate.com has some really smart people writing these recaps that I swear to you will make the show even more enjoyable. It's pretty incredible. Like having notes at the bottom of the page while reading Shakespeare. Real talk. Shakespeare.

If you clicked on this article, I'm probably preaching to the choir, so I'll just end it like this. "They came here looking for a party, I say we go out there and give 'em a fistfight!"

http://www.slate.com/id/2291458/entry/2277347/

"30 Rock x 100" - NYMag.com

Oh what the hell, one more entry on Friday. I had a whole thing typed out about this list of 100 things that are awesome about 30 Rock, but Safari kind of sucks and crashed and erased it. Such is life. Anyway, if you like the show, trust, you will enjoy this list.

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/04/100_thoughts_on_30_rock.html

"The Office Showrunner ..." NYMag.com

Hold up. Toby from The Office runs the show? He's the executive producer? That sadsack guy with the droopy-dog face? What the shit? I guess it matters what he has to say about where the show will go once Steve Carrell leaves then. Weird to me. It's always the quiet ones.

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2011/04/the_office_paul_lieberstein_ca.html

"David Simon, Creator of The Wire, Speaks on Felicia "Snoop" Pearson's Arrest" by Nina Shen Rastogi - Slate.com

Short poop read her folks. Might want to print out an addendum if you're gonna be locked down for a bit, but here is David Simon's take on Snoop's recent arrest on a drug trafficking charge. Believe this, the Poopreader who sent this in said it best: "David Simon is on some other shit."

For real though? Your hair look good girl.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/browbeat/archive/2011/03/10/david-simon-creator-of-the-wire-speaks-on-felicia-snoop-pearson-s-arrest.aspx

thanks big made