"YouTube Hall of Fame: The Wire" - Grantland.com

Y'know I just didn't see anything worth Poop Reading today UNTIL I found this just now. YouTube Hall of Fame for the Wire. GIT OFF ME!!!!! I am so pumped to watch this. Best show of all time combined with one of my favorite regular web columns. Oh this is gonna be so good. So so very wonderful. Excuse me I need a moment.

I watched a few clips of The Wire today, including when Slim Charles pops Cheese, and god DAMN was that a good scene. Slim Charles was the man, and Method Man was so damn good at playing a slimy, two-faced slug. It felt so good to watch him get his wig split. Really brought me back. Enjoy.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/45133/youtube-hof-the-wire

'The Sopranos Five-Year Cut to Black" by Steven Hyden - Grantland.com

If you're a Sops fan this is a must read. Great article about the final episode of Sopranos, which is about to be five years old. Two things to say about this. One, I think it's pretty obvious that Tony died. The conversation he had with Baccala on the boat earlier in the season about how when you get shot you probably don't even know it was an obvious foreshadowing. But also I was watching The Godfather this weekend and noticed that whats-his-face in the Italian bar that Michael shoots with the cop, he says just before he dies "try the veal, it's the best in the city" which is almost word for word what Tony says about the onion rings "try the onion rings, they're the best in the state" just before it all goes black. Too much of a coincidence for me.

I used to think that the ending was more nuanced than that, and was supposed to be a meta play on the viewership, sort of chastising them for caring about a fictional bad guy. But now I think it's more cut and dry than that. RIP, Tony.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7634326/revisiting-finale-sopranos-s-place-history-television

"The Urban Survival Skills That Everyone Should Know" by Thorin Klosowski - Lifehacker.com

Poop Reads must read here guys, just because I like you. This article from Lifehacker has every conceivable urban emergency and how to survive it, complete with written directions and a lot of Youtube videos. It's pretty long, I haven't even made my way through it yet, but I am going to finish it. Because I don't want to die in a fire, or get killed by a mugger, or drown in a tsunami, or get eaten by a crackhead. These are real things. These are things that happen. You best protect ya neck.

http://lifehacker.com/5889600/macgyver-survivalist-or-stockpiler-the-urban-survival-skills-everyone-needs-to-know

"John Fairfax, Who Rowed Across Oceans, Dies at 74" by Margalit Fox - NYTimes.com

This fucking guy. How about this obit headline huh? Motherfucker rowed across the Atlantic and the Pacific. He got bored while rowing across the Atlantic, and it sounds like he used to beat it to planets (yeah), so when he crossed the Pacific he brought along a chick. Smashed her out in the canoe, which, reeally is almost as impressive as rowing across the Pacific Ocean. No ballast in those things. How did it not tip? The guy literally rocked the canoe. Also settled a fight with a gun once ... when he was 9. And was a pirate for a while. I wonder if he ever got laid?

Best obit ever. God bless John Fairfax. This is a must read.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/us/john-fairfax-who-rowed-across-oceans-dies-at-74.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=fairfax%20obituary&st=cse

"The Greatest Drunk on Earth" by Richard English - Modern Drunkard

Another Poop Read must read. My boy Mess asked me today who I thought held the record for drinking the most beers ever in one day. My initial guess was that it had to be some Eastern European cat because all of those people are crazy and drunk. But I think if you gave me a little time I probably could have figured out the correct "real" answer: Andre the Giant. 7'4" 487 pounds, and the man drank like a fish. Fuck it the man drank like a whale. A blue whale. Here's the story of the time he drank 119 beers in six hours. That's three beers a minute ... for six fucking hours. How many times did he piss? No wonder that dude's dead.

http://www.drunkard.com/issues/10_06/10_06_andre_giant.html

"18 Tigers, 17 Lions, 8 Bears, 3 Cougars, 2 Wolves, 1 Baboon, 1 Macaque, and 1 Man Dead in Ohio" by Chris Heath - GQ.com

First off, read this article.

This Zanesville Zoo thing is about the craziest story to ever happen anywhere ever. You remember, the guy who let like 60 lions and tigers and bears out of their cages behind his home and then shot himmself. Apparently he may have also cut his dick off and tried to feed it to a white tiger before he ate his gun too. Like, what the fucking shit is going on here? Then the cops roll up and have to fight these fucking things like real-life Buckhunter. Dozens of abandoned cars and school buses on the property, neighbors hiding in barns, rainstorm rolling in, lions eating horses. Just the nutsiest, most apocalyptic shit imaginable. Also everybody agrees the tigers were the scariest, which I could see. Tigers don't play.

http://www.gq.com/news-politics/newsmakers/201203/terry-thompson-ohio-zoo-massacre-chris-heath-gq-february-2012

P.S. With zero hyperbole I can say that cutting off your own bird and feeding it to a white tiger is the craziest shit available on the menu. Numero uno.

"At Yale, the Collapse of Rhodes Scholar Candidacy" by Richard Perez-Pena - NYTimes.com

This story is pretty wild and I have a feeling this will not be the last we hear of it. Obviously people heard about the Yale QB who, as was widely reported, dropped his Rhodes Scholar candidacy to play in the Yale-Harvard Game.

Turns out his intentions may have not been so noble. Turns out he was accused of sexual assault, and the school may or may not or may or may not have known about it. It's all a little confusing.

There's a lot of questions raised here. Not the least of which, is why the girl, if she was assaulted by this guy, chose to lodge an "informal" complaint. Also, why aren't the cops allowed to get involved with on campus incidents a gain? How is that even possible? I want Benson and Stabler to go in there like motherfuckers and arrest this kid at the pep rally in front of the whole adoring school, maybe even mid-speech. Instead they got Dean Wormer and his merry band of Yale geeks A. not hashing out justice, but B. ruining lives anyway. Bottom line, if you get raped,for fucks sake, call the goddam cops.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/27/sports/ncaafootball/at-yale-the-collapse-of-a-rhodes-scholar-candidacy.html?_r=1&ref=sports

"The Survivor" by Ryan D'Agostino - Esquire.com

Not even gonna lie. I read this on Memorial Day and my throat caught three times at least. This is a profile of that Dr. in Connecticut who's home got robbed and they raped and killed his wife and two daughters and then burned down the house. Awful choice for a beach read. Also the best story I've read in 2011, hands down.

http://www.esquire.com/features/william-petit-case-0611?click=pp