"John Fairfax Loved Hookers: Ten ‘Juicy’ Stories Omitted From His NYT Obit" by Leah Beckham - Gawker.com

Oh, uh, an addendum to the most interesting man in the world's obituary. Dude llooovvveedddd hookers. Shocker.

http://gawker.com/5886695/john-fairfax-loved-hookers-ten-juicy-stories-omitted-from-his-nyt-obit

"John Fairfax, Who Rowed Across Oceans, Dies at 74" by Margalit Fox - NYTimes.com

This fucking guy. How about this obit headline huh? Motherfucker rowed across the Atlantic and the Pacific. He got bored while rowing across the Atlantic, and it sounds like he used to beat it to planets (yeah), so when he crossed the Pacific he brought along a chick. Smashed her out in the canoe, which, reeally is almost as impressive as rowing across the Pacific Ocean. No ballast in those things. How did it not tip? The guy literally rocked the canoe. Also settled a fight with a gun once ... when he was 9. And was a pirate for a while. I wonder if he ever got laid?

Best obit ever. God bless John Fairfax. This is a must read.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/us/john-fairfax-who-rowed-across-oceans-dies-at-74.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=fairfax%20obituary&st=cse

"Last of the Blue-Water Hunters" by Daniel Duane - MensJournal.com

This shit is badass. This dude drives his boat out like 60 miles into great white shark-infested waters and hops overboard with a spear gun and shoots the shit out of giant tuna. He once shot a 398 pound tuna in the eyeball in a patch of water where his boy had been eaten a week before. That's fucking nuts dude. As much as I want to do this, I do not want to do this at all. Read this if you want to know what men who have balls do.

http://www.mensjournal.com/last-of-the-blue-water-hunters

"U.S. Treasure Hunters Find $200 Million Dollar Wreck" by Josh Voorhees - Slate.com

What's up bitches I'm back. I got kinda caught up with my actual job* traveling all over the country a few weeks back and didn't update. Truthfully Delta Airlines broke my spirit for a little bit. They fucking suck. So does Detroit, don't ever go there. It's rainy and sad and cold and poor. So, anyway, that's my apology.

Back to business. Let's talk some motherfucking treasure. This isn't really literature but some treasure hunting firm (They have those? Are they hiring?) just found a shipwreck with 200 million dollars of silver mahfuckin' bullion on it. And they get to keep 80% of it. Shit you not if I found 200 million dollars worth of treasure I would be dead in 3 months, Liver would just throw in the towel like "Fuck you Kevin I can't do this anymore. You're on your own, enjoy your short, liver-less life, dead guy."

http://slatest.slate.com/posts/2011/09/26/ss_gairsoppa_odyssey_marine_exploration_u_s_treasure_hunters_fin.html

*I Went to a high school reunion a few weeks ago and 3 or 4 people asked me if poop reads is my real job. To clear this up and avoid any awkwardness in the future, no, no it is not.

"The Hot-Money Cowboys of Baghdad" by Steven Lee Myers - NYTimes.com

You think you're bad? Hot shot on the trading desk taking "big risks" with other people's money? Really striking out on your own with that marketing agency you're trying to get to fly? If you were really bad, you'd go to Baghdad with nothing but a handgun, a cell phone, and a business card. Like these guys. Get that Saddam-Hussein-type money, son! You won't do it ...

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/22/magazine/the-hot-money-cowboys-of-iraq.html?_r=2&hp

"Bear Grylls Plays Dirty" by Hampton Sides - Outsideonline.com

A profile of Bear Grylls. You guys watching Bear Grylls? I mean, if you're on a site called Poopreads, you should know that Bear Grylls once drank water he squeezed out of elephant shit. He also ate maggots he pulled off a dead deer. And made a wetsuit out of a dead seal carcass. And fileted a rattlesnake and peed in its skin and hung it around its neck and trudged off into a desert with it wrapped around his neck in case he got thirsty later on. He also lives on a barge on the River Thames with his wife and kids. Get to know this sick bastard. He is interesting.

http://outsideonline.com/outside/culture/201005/bear-grylls-1.html