"My Kasual Kountry Weekend with the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan" by Hamilton Nolan - Gawker.com

Nice little read here from HamNo. Is he writing a book? This is a weird piece for him, more substantive than the stuff he usually puts out. He visitied the Klan in Arkansas. Shit got weird, as it has a habit of doing, when you visit the KKK, or just go to Arkansas really.

http://gawker.com/5898493/my-kasual-kountry-weekend-with-the-knights-of-the-ku-klux-klan

"The Virtues of Being Bullied" by Rich Juzwiak - Gawker.com

This gay dude who writes for Gawker got bullied when he was younger and he says it made him a stronger person. Probably a valid point. What doesn't kill you blah blah blah. What I'm more concerned with in this article is two things: One: The dude in the pictures looks more like a bully than a gay kid who gets bullied no? Cocky ass smile with Eminem hair? I dunno, that was my original thought. Second, are second graders really calling each other gay these days? I had no CLUE what gay was when I was 8. I was more interested in dinosaurs and baseball cards at the time. Not dudes fucking each other in the butt. Jesus. That shit's cray.

http://gawker.com/5897963/the-virtues-of-being-bullied

"Why the Phony Ratings Controversy Over Bully is giving the Movie Industry a Wedgie" by Tim Grierson - Gawker.com

Sorry everybody, I've been AWOL like whoa lately. My internet connection got switched around and fucked my whole operation up. Internet shutting down on me mid-sentence and shit. It wasn't cool. It was either give up the blog or go completely and utterly berserk, so I had to lay off for a bit. Now it seems like the internet has decided to work again so I'm gonna do my best to blog as much as possible. So there you have it. My bust, I promise to try to try harder.

Here's an article on the new documentary Bully about nerds who get bullied at school. It's apparently pretty harrowing and the MPAA won't give it a PG-13 rating, which Harvey Weinstein is all bullshit about and creating this whole pseudo-good-willed marketing campaign behind it in the hopes of squeezing as much money out of other people's misery as possible. This is sort of an expose. Interesting stuff though. Hollywood really is a vacant wasteland of greed and despair.

http://gawker.com/5896889/why-the-phony-ratings-controversy-over-bully-is-giving-the-movie-a-wedgie

"The Myth Of Bisexuality, the Shame of Promiscuity, and Other Confessions of a Therapist" - Gawker.com

I don't really fucks with psychiatry because I'm Irish and we're impervious to that shit. Mainly because we drink our way through problems and if you went to a psychiatrist drunk you'd just spew babble at him until he told you to go home and dry out.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, this is some psychiatrist (Psychologist? The one who listens to you whine but can't prescribe drugs to shut you up) Gawker found to speak anonymously about how completely f'cocked his patients are. It's really pretty interesting. Human beings are all maniacs, bro. True story.

http://gawker.com/5890626/the-myth-of-bisexuality-the-shame-of-promiscuity-and-other-confessions-of-a-therapist

"How You Should Feel About Kony 2012, the Campaign That’s Taking Over the Internet: A Guide" by Max Read - Gawker.om

Don't know if you've heard about this Joseph Kony dickhead but he's apparently terrorizing little kids in Africa? And this San Diego group Invisible Children made a video about his atrocities that went viral today. Everybody and their mom on Facebook and Twitter talking about this stuff. And none of them, and by none I mean, maybe like 12 of them can pick Uganda out on a map. Shit I thought it was a country that it borders and I'm pretty sure that makes me a borderline genius.

Either way, here's everything you need to know about Joseph Kony, Invisible Children, and basic geography so you can speak intelligently this weekend when people get drunk and start crying about the children.

http://gawker.com/5891610/how-you-should-feel-about-kony-2012-the-campaign-thats-taking-over-the-internet-a-guide

"I Went to the Pre-Oscar Celebrity Gifting Suites and All I Got Was This Sense of Disgust" by Hamilton Nolan - Gawker.com

It's true what Ben Kingsley said on the Sopranos, the richest people in the world could afford anything they want if anyone ever charged them for it. But they don't get charged. Hamilton Nolan goes behind the scenes at the OSCARs to see for himself the ridiculously nice shit celebrities get for free. Just in case being rich, talented, and beautiful wasn't enough, they get cool shit handed to them too. Bullshit. Eat the rich.

Or just make me rich. Either/or.

http://gawker.com/5888267/i-went-to-the-pre+oscar-celebrity-gifting-suites-and-all-i-got-was-this-sense-of-disgust

"John Fairfax Loved Hookers: Ten ‘Juicy’ Stories Omitted From His NYT Obit" by Leah Beckham - Gawker.com

Oh, uh, an addendum to the most interesting man in the world's obituary. Dude llooovvveedddd hookers. Shocker.

http://gawker.com/5886695/john-fairfax-loved-hookers-ten-juicy-stories-omitted-from-his-nyt-obit

"Your Guide to Mitt Romney's Tax Return" by Jim Newell - Gawker.com

Gawker does a decent job explaining just what the big uproar is over Mitt Romney's tax return. Dude paid something like 15% on the $20 million a year or so he was making, mostly off of interest. For those of you playing along at home, that means Mitt Romney pays about $3 million dollars a year in taxes. Yes that percentage is lower than most Americans pay, but the gross is also significantly higher. Plus by all accounts so far he did nothing illegal. He's just a dude trying to pay as little in taxes as he can, just like every single other person in America, save I guess for Warren Buffet. Romney just happens to be filthy stinking rich.

Listen I wouldn't vote for this dude in a million years. The guy's never drank a beer, he looks like an evil stepfather from an after-school special, and I don't trust him. That being said, the people that are mad at Mitt for his taxes aren't mad at him. They're mad at the system, or maybe they're just mad at themselves for being poor.

http://gawker.com/5878851/your-guide-to-mitt-romneys-obscene-tax-situation

"Rampaging Gym Goer Killed by Taser Attack" - Gawker.com

Alright, this isn't really great literature or whatever, but it is a crazy story. Some dude showed up at a gym upstate at 5:45 a.m. and meated out like the kids on your college football wanted you to think they could. Tossing 700-pound weight machines around and punching dudes off of treadmills. The cops showed up and tased him, and then he wrestled away a taser from a cop and tased himself. Then kept hulking the fuck out. Wild shit. Just goes to prove my theory: Only psychos workout in the morning.

Oh also, he died.

http://gawker.com/5855101/rampaging-gymgoer-killed-by-taser-attack

"Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap" by Richard Lawson - Gawker.com

Are you guys watching this show? Forget Jersey Shore this show is incredible. Like literally Teresa Guidice on this show makes Snooki look like Stephen Hawking. And a hot Stephen Hawking at that. Semi-fuckable maybe. But still, her husband "Juicy" Joe Guidice is having himself a run at reality TV history this season. In this last ep he does a front flip into an awkward fish flop onto a marble floor while hammered and cracks his tooth off, all in front of his young daughters (who react hysterically) and guests. Teresa was "a little embarrassed" by her husband. Just a tad, no biggie.

He then goes on to say, in reference to his wife's brother "No offense to the faggots, but I call your brother a faggot because he's a fucking faggot." Now I have a question for you. Is this meatball of a man at the avant garde of the English language, intuitively understanding despite an evidently abysmal education that words change meaning as time progresses and when people say "faggot" these days they rarely actually mean homosexual? Or is he just a bigoted drunk? Only time will tell.

http://gawker.com/5835380/real-housewives-of-new-jersey-flipping-out

"Jersey Shore: International Panty Raid" by Brian Moylan - Gawker.com

I don't have high hopes for Jersey Shore this season. I don't know how anyone could. If fucking ripped-ass Ronnie and stupid, fat, gross, stankface, Barney-Rubble feet Sam get back together I am done. DONE! Situation is just doing everything for affect at this point, J-Wow still looks good in my opinion but people are hating on her for being too thin (bullshit, she still has bombs), Vinny is a geek, Snooki looks like a poop personified, and I can't remember anyone else's name on the show.

Oh Paulie. Paulie's cool.

Anyway here is a good recap of ep numero uno in Firenze.

http://gawker.com/5828119/jersey-shore-international-panty-raid

"Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap" by Richard Lawson - Gawker.com

This dude is the second funniest dude writing on the internet behind El Pres and KFC over at Barstool. NJ Housewives is entertaining to me because I'm from a town in New Jersey where that show is not all that ironic. But I shit you not these recaps are hysterical, and I've been known to watch the show just so I can get the most out of the recap the next day.

I realize nobody watches this show except for me and possibly my boy Dan. So here you go Dan, you're own little Poop Reads moment of zen. You're welcome.

http://gawker.com/5822210/real-housewives-of-new-jersey-hells-bells

"Jersey Shore: The Greatest American Tragedy" by Brian Moylan

This dude Brian Moylan has been recapping Jersey Shore for Gawker.com for a while now. I still really like that show, and knowing that one of these recaps is coming the morning after makes the show even better because you end up trying to guess what he's going to pick up on and mock. For my money Moylan is one of the funniest guys writing on the web right now.

http://gawker.com/#!5758057/jersey-shore-the-greatest-american-tragedy