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Monday, February 6, 2012

"18 Tigers, 17 Lions, 8 Bears, 3 Cougars, 2 Wolves, 1 Baboon, 1 Macaque, and 1 Man Dead in Ohio" by Chris Heath - GQ.com

First off, read this article.

This Zanesville Zoo thing is about the craziest story to ever happen anywhere ever. You remember, the guy who let like 60 lions and tigers and bears out of their cages behind his home and then shot himmself. Apparently he may have also cut his dick off and tried to feed it to a white tiger before he ate his gun too. Like, what the fucking shit is going on here? Then the cops roll up and have to fight these fucking things like real-life Buckhunter. Dozens of abandoned cars and school buses on the property, neighbors hiding in barns, rainstorm rolling in, lions eating horses. Just the nutsiest, most apocalyptic shit imaginable. Also everybody agrees the tigers were the scariest, which I could see. Tigers don't play.


P.S. With zero hyperbole I can say that cutting off your own bird and feeding it to a white tiger is the craziest shit available on the menu. Numero uno.

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