"Burning Down the House" by Michael Weiss - Slate.com

Wait. Something's going on in London? Lawlessness or whatever. At least they don't have guns. Kinda cute actually.

Yes you do want to riot, English people. Yes you do! Coochie coo!

Edward and Cyril get gatted so quick in American riots it doesn't even count. Tally ho, pussies.

http://www.slate.com/id/2301217/

p.s. Before the Times breaks the story I want you to hear it here first. My boy Wang is behind these riots. Guaranteed. He's trying to drive up the price of gold. Not even joking.