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Sunday, April 17, 2011

"The Island of Arsenal" by Brian Phillips - Slate.com

How cool a name is Arsenal? My man Gino just moved to London and is looking for a soccer team to support. Now yes, we all here at Poopreads* agree that soccer is pretty boring to watch, and nothing really happens and the players all flop like a bunch of bitches, and we don't even know how many players should be on the field at any given time. Seven? Eight? Literally, no idea. But still, it's a good excuse to drink. Pretty sure that's all soccer fandom is. An excuse to drink beer without anybody hassling you. Most fandom, really. I digress. Anyway, my man Gino needs a team to support and wear scarves for and shit, and I said, no brainer--Arsenal. Coolest team name out there by a long shot. Sounds like guns. Manchester United? Too Beatles-y or something. Real Madrid? Makes no sense. Why would Madrid be fake? Gino! Do you hear me?! Root for Arsenal!!! Guns, bro.

That's what this story is about. Stan Kroenke, an American Billionaire, bought Arsenal and now all the English are fretting (pretty sure that's what the Brits do best, fret) that he's going to ruin the team.


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