So some dude in Buffalo* or somewhere else shitty is claiming he found a mouse in his Mountain Dew bottle and wants to sue. But Mountain Dew had the absolutely positively disgusting wherewithal to say "that's impossible, if a mouse fell into a Mountain Dew bottle it would melt into a gelatinous blob of unrecognizable mouse matter." Which is shortsighted.
True or not, Chuck Klosterman, who apparently mainlines Mountain Dew all day urryday thinks it would be cool to eat a gelatinous mouse so he's defending his soda.
I dunno, slow day on the internets folks.
P.S. Forget if it was Buffalo or not but it was someplace shitty and Buffalo seems like a prime suspect to me.