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Monday, January 30, 2012

"How to Beat up Animals when Animals Attack" by Doug Barry - ModernMan.com

I just wrote about this! It's like Modern Man (where I contribute occasionally) has a line straight into my brain. Which I guess technically they do since I write for them but that's beside the point. The point is, they totally fucked up the wolf part. My technique is so much better than "stand sideways" or whatever the mumbo jumbo is they're spewing. If it's do or die time with a wolf you gotta be a man about yours. Go in there like a boss looking to make wolf hats.

Fighting a mountain lion would be a nightmare though. I want no part of that. Shit defines "jungle cat, razor sharp." I can't defend myself against that.

I'm sneaky a little afraid to fight a raccoon too. Feel like they're dirty and infectious and likely to bite my balls. Just seems like something a raccoon would do.


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