"Paw Paw and Lady Love" by Dan P. Lee - NYMag.com

This all encompassing retrospective on Anna Nicole Smith's marriage to a one billion year old billionaire and the subsequent battle for his cash after he died is an amazing story in its own right. But that's not what I want to talk about tonight.

I want to talk about how ludicrously hot Anna Nicole Smith was in her prime. I'm talking fresh out the gates, Playmate of the year, Naked Gun 33 1/3 Anna Nicole Smith. She. Was. FIRE! When I was 12 finding Naked Gun 33 1/3 on late night TV was pure gold. Like if you were at a sleepover that shit would come on and when she rolls out with the titty tassles on ... Jesus Christ. Titty tassles on Anna Nicole Smith to a 12 year old is like winning the fucking Powerball lottery is to an adult. I shit you not. She comes out wearing those things and all of the sudden every dude at the party mysteriously has to take a shit. Like Danny's in the downstairs bathroom "taking a shit", Lil Tommy scurried off to the upstairs one, J.B. is "waiting to take a shit" in the garage, and you? You've got Danny's family room all to your lonesome. Whatcha gon' do?

http://nymag.com/news/features/anna-nicole-smith-2011-6/

p.s. Anybody who went to sleepovers after age 12 is gayer than cum on a mustache and you can't tell me different.