"Star-to-Be Who Never Was" by Harvey Araton - NYTimes.com

So Lenny Cooke was this Jersey/Brooklyn kid who ten years ago was supposed to be the best high school basketball player in the country. Then he went to the ABCD camp and a kid one year younger than him, by the name of Lebron James, destroyed his whole persona with one well-timed three-point shot. Uhh, as you can see in the picture, Lenny Cooke didn't really pan out as an NBA star.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/04/sports/basketball/lenny-cooke-star-to-be-who-never-was.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&src=dayp

"The Malice at the Palace" by Jonathan Abrams - Grantland.com

This is an oral history of the fight where Ron Artest beat some nerds ass in the stands because some fat asshole threw his beer at him. Pretty solid.

How much would it take for you to fight Ron Artest? I'd do it for 70 grand. I don't know, the number just speaks to me. I'm not getting my ass beat into oblivion by a crazy giant from Queensbridge for a cent less either. Seventy grand or the deal's off.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7612311/an-oral-history-malice-palace

"Person of Interest: Jeremy Lin" - Jay Caspian Kang - Grantland.com

I didn't have a chance to read it but I trust Jay Caspian Kang, and Jeremy Lin is obvi hot in these streets right now. There's a lot of crazy things about this dude and this story, but the one that kills me is how much casual racism gets tossed into his overnight stardom. Motherfuckers just running around in the stands bowing to each other when he scores, and holding up signs that say "Who says Asians can't drive?" How is this just sliding by? Can you imagine if this cat was black and people were pulling this shit? There would be riots in the street. People would be getting shot in the south. Black guys would probably give up basketball en masse for hockey. It'd be pandemonium.

Jeremy Lin is a good sport.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7570431/jeremy-lin

"Back in Play" by David Remnick - Grantland via The New Yorker

I didn't get a chance to finish this but I'll take Grantland's word that it's an all-time classic. Remnick is obviously a heavyweight and he followed Jordan around for his return season after the foray into baseball. Has to be good right? I don't know I can't make myself care about the NBA. I'm basically in a football-related K-Hole right now.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7555753/david-remnick-classic-new-yorker-story-michael-jordan-first-return-basketball

"Michael Jordan's Tragic Style" by Wesley Morris - Grantland.com

Michael Jordan dresses like a fucking asshole. Which I guess makes sense, because by all accounts, Michael Jordan is a fucking asshole. Seriously though, shredded fucking jeans? What is he on his way to sticking out like a sore thumb at a Korn concert? Or in his case, sticking out like a black guy at a Korn concert?

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7475987/wesley-morris-michael-jordan-awful-style

"The Toughest Guys on the Court: Georgetown's True Grit" by Shane Ryan - Grantland.com

I was kind of so-so on this piece. I thought the writer got a little too cute talking about the time last summer when Gtown hoops got karate chopped into submission by some Chinese warrior basketball team, but that is neither here nor there. I know a lot of you Poopies are Hoyas and so you will read this and enjoy it. The thesis is that Gtown hoops is a better team for getting its ass beat for all the world to see. Draw your own conclusions.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/13294/the-toughest-guys-on-the-court-georgetowns-true-grit

"Person of Interest: Kwame Brown" by Jay Caspian Kang - Grantland.com

Hand to God? I did not read this. But Kang? Caspian Kang? Think it's just Kang, is a good writer and there's an interesting angle here. It's basically the first in a series of profiles of all the lunatics in the NBA.

Kwame Brown was the first pick in the NBA draft in like what? 2001? And then as far as I can recall Michael Jordan coached him on the Wizards and shattered his confidence wholly and ccompletely because Michael Jordan is not-so-sneaky a humongous asshole. And Kwame Brown's life sucked from there on out. One time he did leave a pair of Gucci sunglasses on the bar at the waterfront in DC and one of my dudes ended up with him. Not sure if he swiped them or found them or what but he wore them. He looked really stupid in them too because they were designed for giant black millionaires and not white college bros, but whatever, still kinda cool.

-Hansel

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7421210/kwame-brown

"The NBA's 'That Dude Made What' All-Stars" by Robert Mays - Grantland.com

Goddamit these dickheads are overpaid. Stop watching the NBA now please. Or whenever it starts. These dudes don't deserve this loot. Like 20 of them deserve it. The rest of them, no no no. No. This is really insane.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/12245/the-nbas-that-dude-made-what-all-stars

"Blindsided: The Jerry Joseph Basketball Scandal" by Michael J. Mooney - GQ.com

So this 22-year-old cat named Guerdwich Monimere popped up at Permian High in Texas (yes that Permian High) a few years back claiming he was 16. And everybody believed him and he ended up wrecking shop in high school basketball until getting found out. Probably laid the shlong on some underage bitties too, but that is neither here nor there.

This story is pretty much my dream (sans the statutory rape part of course(of course!)). Feel like I could play the four real hot right now in the high school ranks. Granted I have no handle, shot, or basketball savvy. So what. I'd just plant my 30-year, barrel chested ass under the basket and rock the boards like a shorter, fatter, whiter Rodman in his prime. Get a few put-back garbage buckets. Have you seen 16 year olds these days? They look like they're 12. I'd swat those little bitches away like flies. I'd be a 20-10 guy (20 boards). Probably get myself a scholarship somewhere big time. Maybe go pro. I dunno. The world's your oyster when you're in you're pretending to be 16.

http://www.gq.com/sports/profiles/201107/jerry-joseph-scandal-hs-basketball

"Buzzworthy NBA Names" by Carles - Grantland.com

As much as I hate posting shit by the dude from Hipsterrunoff.com, this is a funny article. And honestly, I can't get over Bismack Biyombo's name. No one else I've talked to has shared this excitement with me. But I am rooting so hard for this African cat to be nasty. Bismack Biyombo. Best name since Tokyo Sexwhale. Look it up.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/347/buzzworthy-nba-names

"Would You Be Friends with Lebron James" by Jared Freid - Weekly World News

Would I be friends with Lebron James? Simple. Yes. Yes! One thousand times yes! Look, Lebron is a douchebag, we know this. but so are most of my friends. And none of them are worth nine digits or have access to the very best of everything. Everything. And I still chill with them all the time. So this is a slam dunk for me (fuck, didn't intend that pun at all, leaving it in).

http://weeklyworldnews.com/opinion/34552/j-train-would-you-be-friends-with-lebron-james/

"Young Dirk" by Benjamin Markovits - Slate.com

Probably the last basketball article for a while for Poopreads, but one I thought was worthwhile. The author played against--and got sonned by--a 17-year old Dirk Nowitzki in some league in Germany. It's basically like if you or I played against Dirk when he was on the way up. The guy was amazed by him, understandably. Weirdest part of this article is that it doesn't sound like the dude played college ball? Like he just played in high school, worked on his jumper in pick-up games in college, and then went and played in some shit league in Germany that Dirk Nowitzki happened to be playing in his junior year of high school. I dunno, good read though.

http://www.slate.com/id/2296869/

Put a Ring on It: Steve Nash, Lebron James, and Jewelry" by Chris Ryan - Grantland.com

I have no idea who Chris Ryan is, do you? Where'd he come from? How'd he get on Grantland? One reason may be by writing brilliantly roundabout articles about Steve Nash just killing life in general, and how about maybe everybody needs to relax a little with the whole "Lebron James is the devil" thing. He's not the devil. He's a supremely talented athlete who was so sheltered his entire life because of his exceptional gifts that he has a poorly honed killer instinct and no concept of reality. That's all it is. Rant all you want.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-Triangle/post/_/id/195/

"Lebron James is Still a Cocksucker" by Drew Magary - Deadspin.com

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"The Self Aware NBA" by Carles - Grantland.com

Good article breaking down NBA personalities. Too busy watching finals to write more. Enjoy, you won't not like it. Trust.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/100/the-self-aware-nba

"A Man Alone: Dirk vs. The Heat" by Jay Caspian Kang and Bill Barnwell - Grantland.com

Grantland, goddam! I like this site more and more. Here two dudes I don't know write a pretty cinematic, and then cuttingly realistic review of the NBA Finals. Very cool.

On another note, how ugly is Dirk Nowitzki? God bless him, heart of a champion, one of the top what, 15 players of all time, and really fun to watch play. But jesus H. christ. If it wasn't for George Murehsan he might be the ugliest baller of all time, with all due respect to Popeye Jones and Sam "ET" Cassell. Nowitzki looks like a 7-foot tall zombie vampire with the flu. No wonder he got mixed up with that meth head hooker. Yikes.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6642375/dirk-vs-heat

"Balls Out Guest of the Day: Brian Phillips On Jason Kidd, Hall-of-Fame Groundhog" by Brian Phillips - GQ.com

Pretty cool take on the curious career of Jason Kidd. Phillips compares him to Rocky Balboa and a groundhog. Guy was born to lose. Looks like a pit bull or a biker. From Oakland. Beats his wife (maybe?). Still likeable? Kinda feel like he is. Never was really sure why. Phillips lends some clarity to the issue.

http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-q/2011/06/jason-kidd.html

"Shaquille O'Neal, Basketball's 'Very Quotatious' Superstar, Retires" - TheAtlantic.com

Shaq retired via Twitter. If you gave me two guesses I could have gotten this as the way it would have gone down.

People know Shaq's broke right? Cat made like half a billion dollars taking it to the hole and rapping with Fu Shnickens and now he's broke. This all according to some douchebag money manager who lives in Murray Hill that a dude I went to college with knows or something. I dunno, sounds realistic.

http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2011/06/shaquille-oneal-basketballs-very-quotatious-superstar-retires/239783/

p.s. just tagged this "legends". Shaq really is a legend. Weird.

"Lebron James Shall Be Redeemed" by Scott Raab - Esquire.com

Scott Raab has spent the last year foaming at the lips over Lebron's move from Cleveland to Miami. He sounds pissed, but truthfully, I can't tell how much of it is for show--promotion for his upcoming book about James "The Whore of Akron" (actual title). Anyway, he's kind of come to terms with the fact that the Heat are going to win this year's NBA championship, and probably the next ten. Fate is cruel. Lesson learned: Don't be from Ohio.

http://www.esquire.com/the-side/lebron-james/nba-finals-2011-picks-5839627?click=pp

p.s. Sorry mark and kelley. But seriously, Ohio's basically New Jersey with worse Italian food and no ocean. Just lots of awful cities, good high school football, and a surprising dollop of racism.

p.p.s. Oh, and tattoo parlors. I hear they ink a mean tat in the Buckeye State.

"Nowitzki and James Took Divergent Paths to Same Goal" by Karen Crouse - NYTimes.com

Pretty damning article from the Times comparing Dirk Nowitzki and Lebron James. This passage says it all.

"In the free-agent frenzy of 2010, Nowitzki, without much fanfare, decided to remain with the franchise that first signed him and for whom he has toiled for 13 seasons. He re-signed with the Mavericks, he told reporters Monday, because “ultimately, that was where my heart was at.”
He added, “It almost felt like we had unfinished business.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/31/sports/basketball/nowitzki-and-james-took-divergent-paths-to-same-goal.html?_r=1&hpw