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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

"Blindsided: The Jerry Joseph Basketball Scandal" by Michael J. Mooney - GQ.com

So this 22-year-old cat named Guerdwich Monimere popped up at Permian High in Texas (yes that Permian High) a few years back claiming he was 16. And everybody believed him and he ended up wrecking shop in high school basketball until getting found out. Probably laid the shlong on some underage bitties too, but that is neither here nor there.

This story is pretty much my dream (sans the statutory rape part of course(of course!)). Feel like I could play the four real hot right now in the high school ranks. Granted I have no handle, shot, or basketball savvy. So what. I'd just plant my 30-year, barrel chested ass under the basket and rock the boards like a shorter, fatter, whiter Rodman in his prime. Get a few put-back garbage buckets. Have you seen 16 year olds these days? They look like they're 12. I'd swat those little bitches away like flies. I'd be a 20-10 guy (20 boards). Probably get myself a scholarship somewhere big time. Maybe go pro. I dunno. The world's your oyster when you're in you're pretending to be 16.

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