'The Sopranos Five-Year Cut to Black" by Steven Hyden - Grantland.com

If you're a Sops fan this is a must read. Great article about the final episode of Sopranos, which is about to be five years old. Two things to say about this. One, I think it's pretty obvious that Tony died. The conversation he had with Baccala on the boat earlier in the season about how when you get shot you probably don't even know it was an obvious foreshadowing. But also I was watching The Godfather this weekend and noticed that whats-his-face in the Italian bar that Michael shoots with the cop, he says just before he dies "try the veal, it's the best in the city" which is almost word for word what Tony says about the onion rings "try the onion rings, they're the best in the state" just before it all goes black. Too much of a coincidence for me.

I used to think that the ending was more nuanced than that, and was supposed to be a meta play on the viewership, sort of chastising them for caring about a fictional bad guy. But now I think it's more cut and dry than that. RIP, Tony.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7634326/revisiting-finale-sopranos-s-place-history-television

"Bullfighter's Return Stuns a Hardened Sport" by Raphael Minder - NYTimes.com

So this Spanish bullfighter got his whole shit broke by a bull last year and lost an eyeball in the process. Now he's making a comeback, which I guess is cool. Fall off the horse, get right back on it. Get curb stomped by a cow, stab the cow with a hundred spears until it dies. Yada yada yada. My only thing here is, how the fuck do you dodge a charging bull when you have no depth perception? This seems poorly thought out.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/02/world/europe/bullfighters-return-stuns-a-hardened-sport.html?_r=1&hp

"Encounters with Unexpected Animals" by Bret Anthony Johnston - Esquire.com

I don't usually post a lot of fiction on Poop Reads, can't remember if I ever have actually, but this short story from Esquire was pretty awesome. It's about sex, love, kids, parenting, and the dangers of thinking you're smarter than everybody else. Good read.

http://www.esquire.com/fiction/encounters-with-unexpected-animals-story-0312?click=news

"Star-to-Be Who Never Was" by Harvey Araton - NYTimes.com

So Lenny Cooke was this Jersey/Brooklyn kid who ten years ago was supposed to be the best high school basketball player in the country. Then he went to the ABCD camp and a kid one year younger than him, by the name of Lebron James, destroyed his whole persona with one well-timed three-point shot. Uhh, as you can see in the picture, Lenny Cooke didn't really pan out as an NBA star.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/04/sports/basketball/lenny-cooke-star-to-be-who-never-was.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&src=dayp

"Navy SEALs: Obama's Secret Weapon" by Daniel Klaidman - TheDailyBeast.com

Haven't read it yet. Going to read it. Navy SEALs like whoa. Of course I want to know how Obama figured out how to use these badass motherfuckers.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/02/19/navy-seals-obama-s-secret-army.html

"The Urban Survival Skills That Everyone Should Know" by Thorin Klosowski - Lifehacker.com

Poop Reads must read here guys, just because I like you. This article from Lifehacker has every conceivable urban emergency and how to survive it, complete with written directions and a lot of Youtube videos. It's pretty long, I haven't even made my way through it yet, but I am going to finish it. Because I don't want to die in a fire, or get killed by a mugger, or drown in a tsunami, or get eaten by a crackhead. These are real things. These are things that happen. You best protect ya neck.

http://lifehacker.com/5889600/macgyver-survivalist-or-stockpiler-the-urban-survival-skills-everyone-needs-to-know

"13 Right-Wing Talking Points for the Simmons-Obama Podcast" by Drew Magary - Deadspin.com

Am I the only one who can't really fathom that the Sportsguy scored an interview with a sitting president? This is damn near amazing to me. This is a dude who made guys like me laugh my balls off in my cube in 2005, writing about his idiot friends and cockamamie syllogisms between Roadhouse and the Boston Red Sox. I mean it's flabbergasting that he's gonna sit down down with Obama and chew the fat and people are going to listen. I don't know, I know he's lost his fastball as of late, at least writing-wise, but damn, hard not to feel good for the guy, you know? Here's to you, Bill Simmons. To quote Joe Biden, this is a big fucking deal.

http://deadspin.com/5889588/13-right+wing-talking-points-for-the-simmons+obama-podcast

P.S. Oh shit, almost forgot, Drew Magary came up with a list of ridiculous shit for right-wing asshats to jump on Simmons and Obama about. Pretty funny.