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Thursday, November 10, 2011

"Like She's the Only Girl in the World" by Jonah Weiner - Slate.com

This is an incredibly insightful piece that tries to explain why exactly Rihanna is so popular, despite not having an especially good voice or being particularly original. Weiner really breaks her career and persona down well. I didn't know that she is already tied with Mariah and Madonna for most number one singles for a female ever, with 11. Wildly impressive since she's like what? 26? 25? Dammit is she 25? Oh, motherfucker! I just Googled it and she is 23! Fffffuuuuhhh-hhhkkkk.

Whatever I bet she ages in dog years.*

Anyway, Rihanna's popular because she is sexy as all get out. Hell she is sex. I bet if you caught a whiff of her it would smell exactly like b'dussy.** Butt, dick, and pussy, all at the same time. Except not gross.

She also blends well. Just adds a little something to the song she's on without overpowering it. Rihanna is human butter. Got a good piece of bread? Put butter on it. Boom, better bread. Good steak? Butter that shit up. Better steak. Fudge? Toss some butter in it. Can't really taste it, but you definitely know it's there, and its presence makes the rest of the meal that much better. That's what's Rihanna does.

**Confession: The lyric "sex in the air I don't care I like the smell of it" makes me blush like a schoolgirl.

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