"How to Give a Wedding Toast" by Troy Patterson - Slate.com

Some solid advice here on how to give a wedding toast. Especially for people who aren't as funny as Bone thinks he is. Good piece of advice, all five drafts of the Gettysburg Address were 300 words or less. And no one you're talking about is greater than the sum total of the Union dead.

Enjoy.

http://www.slate.com/id/2297140/

p.s. just kidding Bone, you're the pick of the litter.

"Don't Let's Watch the Royal Wedding" by Leo Carey - Newyorker.com

Second post in a row about people not wanting to watch TV. Royal wedding, blah blah blah, you're not watching because it's on at like 4 in the morning or some bullshit. Don't make this a philosophical stand, bro. Also, it's a wedding of two people you don't know. You know why you're not watching, Leo? Because you're a male. Only females are excited about the wedding and that's only because they claim to like these kinds of things when in fact they just really want to talk shit about the girl and William's horse mouth. Deal with it.

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2011/04/dont-lets-watch-the-royal-wedding.html