"Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure" by Drew Magary - Deadspin.com

Are you guys fucking serious? I checked Poop Reads' stats the other day and three of the top five articles all time are fucking drunken hookup failures. Failure and drunkeness are funny sure, but this is bullshit. These articles aren't even good. It's a poor man's Sports Guys mailbag. What the shit are you thinking? I understand this blog is for the populace and blah-dee-blah-blah-blah, but jesus christ guys. We got David Foster Wallace on here. Regularly. We got Klostermann and the whole goddam getalong gang over at Grantland. Broaden your horizons for once for Jesus Christ's sake, if not your own.

Anyway, some chick ate shrooms and then wouldn't fuck this guy who thought he was going to fuck her before she ate them. Happy Monday you goons.

http://deadspin.com/5815265/cockblocked-by-shrooms

"Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure" by Drew Magary - Deadspin.com

I know you guys love these things. Drew Magary doing his thing. Chronicling the patheticest of the patheticest attempts to get laid. For shame.

http://deadspin.com/5803903/cockblocked-by-a-rape-joke

"Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure" by Drew Magary - Deadspin.com

Drew Magary checks in this wonderful Monday morning for your reading pleasure. These guys that wrote in to Drew are particularly inept and unfortunate with women, particularly the guy who still has "dark, plainly visible scars six years later." Ouch.

http://deadspin.com/#!5799370/great-moments-in-bad-handjobs

"Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure" by Drew Magary - Deadspin.com

Drew Magary serves up another "Great Moments ...". Dudes just getting dominated by booze and chicks and awkwardness. Not much more to say about that, but it is pretty funny. I know you guys love these articles. I check the stats. You guys love this stuff even more then you liked the Wikipedia entry for serial killers. Which was a lot.

Sick bastards.

http://deadspin.com/#!5528075/cockblocked-by-luke-walton--great-moments-in-drunken-hookup-failure